7th November: Some light in the darkness
My top three recommendations this week - as the world takes a turn for the worse, we must continue to seek out joy
It’s been a rough week for many of us. With the news yesterday of Donald Trump’s US Election win, it can feel as though there is no hope for the future - particularly for so many under-served, under-represented people, communities, countries and our climate. When the darkness hits in the wider world, there is nothing we need more than to seek some escapism, something to remind us that there is good spirit out there. So I hope that this issue of Parasocial Media can offer that, although all of these recommendations are rather suitably themed - exploring psychopaths, the dark web and duplicity online. Without even another mention of the orange-faced man!
Hang in there my friends, and let’s get on to my three recs this week.
What I’m Reading: The Psychopath Test By Jon Ronson
I was incredibly lucky this week to see Jon Ronson’s Psychopath Night at The Cambridge Theatre in London. I’m a long-time Jon Ronson fan, and The Psychopath Test was the first of his books that I read, quite a few years ago. Ronson has an uncanny knack of telling incredibly engaging real stories, complemented by research, facts and ‘stranger than fiction’ case studies. The Psychopath Test was perhaps the first of his books that really took off, and I can see why: it’s initial offering promises to help us not only understand, but find psychopaths amidst our everyday peers. It posited a new idea that psychopaths were not just spree killers and horrific abusers, but that actually many likely held top positions in society and business. I love non-fiction, and if you are looking for a good gateway, Jon Ronson is it. His ability to bring himself to the story, while still centring the intended subject, is unmatched.
The show itself is worth a ticket if you can still get one - the night fleshes out the content of the book with some of the real people who have suffered at the hands of psychopaths, and, updated for 2024, it also explores how we talk about mental health in a modern, social media prominent society.
We also got a bonus guest - Louis Theroux! Another of my favourite awkward-vibes white male journalists :)
Thanks to Jon (and Louis) for putting on a great show - you can find out more and get tickets to see Jon here.
What I’m Listening To: Kill List (Wondery)
Kill List is Wondery’s latest offering, and I’m hooked. Wondery is the podcast production team behind some of the best dark storytelling, including Ghost Story (well worth a listen even as we leave spooky season behind), The Price Of Paradise (a bonkers reality-telly-gone-wrong tale), and RedHanded (a British equivalent of My Favourite Murder - not entirely unproblematic, but the stories they explore are strong).
Kill List is told by tech journalist Carl Miller - not used to being dragged into the darkest corners of the web, Carl makes for a perfect ‘entry point’ for the listener - just as uneducated as us on the terrifying capability of the dark web, and frankly, people. When a freelance colleague of his discovers a hitman-for-hire site, and gains access to the back end, Carl must consider whether he helps the individuals at risk - and whether anybody with more authority will gain control of this life-or-death situation.
I haven’t finished listening yet, but this show really does take a good look at the extreme darkness and desperation of people, and the loopholes within society and tech that enables those people to exploit others. I actually think it should be retitled WHAT ON EVER LOVING EARTH IS WRONG WITH MEN?, but I see why they went with Kill List. Bit more dynamic. You can listen to Kill List here (other good pod platforms are available).
What I’m Watching: Sweet Bobby (Netflix)
I’ll be honest: I’m a podcast girlie. Sweet Bobby was a story originally told in such format by Tortoise Media, as is the case with many of Netflix’s best non-fiction outputs lately. I loved the podcast. Unlike so many, Sweet Bobby is now presented by Netflix as a one-shot 90-minute documentary film - the one and only time I’m likely to say that actually, this story could have done with more time.
For the uninitiated, Sweet Bobby is the tale of Kirat, a young woman in South London, who - via a slightly complicated family web on Facebook - is introduced to Bobby. Bobby, via only the means of DMs, WhatsApps and voice notes (never from him, crucially), becomes a close confidant to Kirat, before she inevitably falls in love with him. Over the course of 8 years, and more than 60 supporting characters, Kirat is subjected to one of the most extreme - and hard to rationalise once you know the culprit (no spoilers here) - cases of catfishing I’ve ever seen. And I have, genuinely, watched every single episode of Catfish: The TV Show at least once.
The Netflix telling of this story is worth a watch - if you want a quick and tasty nugget rather than the full meal, it does a good job of placing Kirat front and centre to tell her story in a linear way, while the podcast is more of a live investigation that shifts to-and-fro from past to present with breathless purpose. The Netflix film also serves as a good reminder that Kirat is a victim, first and foremost. It is nice to see that prioritised, and that she appears to be doing well.
If catfishing, family secrets and the pressures of romantic expectation are up your street, I’d recommend Sweet Bobby. If you want the full story, with that ‘live’ feeling of claustrophobia and pressure, definitely head to the podcast first. Both tell an important story for our times.
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Speaking of stories for our times, I’m off to go and burrow under my duvet until 2028. But I’ll be back next week, with three more recs. Until then, let me know what you’re adding to your watchlist/tbr/playlists to find the light - or, like me, a bit of distracting darkness.